NFL QB Midichlorian Counts
- Matthew Seall
- Jul 5, 2025
- 1 min read
Updated: Jul 20, 2025
Throughout the NFL season, I periodically send out an intern with rat tail to get a midichlorian count of each team's starting quarterback, and it almost always matches what I can perceive from my couch. What are midicholoarians you ask? No, they are not mitichondria, and yes, it is an incredibily hard word to spell. In the Star Wars universe they are essentially microscopic lifeforms that reside in all living beings and connect us with the Force. "Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to quiet your mind, you'll hear them speaking to you."
―Qui-Gon Jinn, to Anakin Skywalker I'm sure that answers all your questions. I used to use "vibes" or "trust" to rank the quarterbacks, but my brother who doesnt watch much football complained to me that such measures were confusing and not quantitative enough. So I said what about midichlorians? Immediately it clicked for him. If you want to nerd out more you can go here.